Crankiness

Crankiness · July 25, 2020
The true definition of a "CrankaTsuris" is the voicing of every single grievance you may have had from the very moment you came out of your mother's womb. It includes not only the unresolved grievances which may trouble you at that very moment, but since you are on a roll, you throw in all the grievances that you no longer have, the ones that have been completely resolved, those you may have even forgot about, and of course, the ones you didn't even know existed. The other interesting thing...
Crankiness · July 08, 2020
Growing up as a child in the 1960's, I looked forward every week to my favorite TV show: Batman!!! I loved the choreographed fights. I loved the tongue in cheek seriousness they had with their roles. I loved Alfred the Butler. I loved the Bat Pole. How neat was that! All they had to do was slide down a pole to the Bat Cave, and they came down perfectly dressed for action. Their hair was perfect. No stomach upset going down the pole. It did not seem to make them sweaty. Their clothes was...
Crankiness · May 30, 2020
This is the interview I had with David D. of Black Chateau Enterprises at the LA Bookfest on May 9th. I talked about CrankaTsuris, and my upcoming book "A Grownup Guide To Effective CrankaTsuris: The CrankaTsuris Method." Dave: Why did you decide to write this book? Steve: Two things happened at different times. Back in the Summer of 2017, I was with my partner at an apartment we rented in Rome, Italy. The power went out right when she was putting black color in her hair, which does not go well...
Crankiness · April 25, 2020
The book, "The Last Surviving Dinosaur: The TyrantoCrankaTsuris" answers two questions that have been puzzling generations of people for thousands of years. First, what is with this absolute obsession with dinosaurs that humans have with dinosaurs in the first place and second, why are humans the only species that actually come in to this world crying like a baby? Yes. I know. They are babies. But, let's take the first question. Why are humans so obsessed with dinosaurs in the first place? More...
Crankiness · March 29, 2020
We are now in week whatever with the stay at home orders and families are all stuck together twenty four hours a day in quarantine. So, this is what I like to compare our current situation to: Imagine that the family is going on a long vacation to Disney World, and they are all stuck together packed in the mini-van. At least, they are going on the vacation they were all looking forward to, and when the kids are cranking out "are we there yet?", the grown-ups in the car actually have some idea...
Crankiness · March 04, 2020
There are many sayings that we use everyday which we say without thinking, and these sayings make no real sense whatsoever. "Close, but no cigar!!" Why a cigar? What about a pack of cigarettes? Or what if I do not smoke, and I do not like cigars? Why can I just get whatever is behind Door Number 3? Or... "That is all she wrote." Well. Maybe she wrote more. How do we really know? And, are you saying that she did not write enough? Obviously, he did not write anything. I do not see you complaining...
Crankiness · March 02, 2020
Mr. Schlemiel wanted to retire in the country, and live on a chicken farm, but felt that he could never afford it. It was his life long dream. He vigilantly checked the Chicken Farm Real Estate Magazine, and the prices were always way above what Mr. Schlemiel could afford. But, one day, he was approached by Mr. Schmegeggi, who had heard about Mr. Schlemiel's dream to own a chicken farm, and he told Mr. Schlemiel that he had a chicken farm that was a tenth of the price of the average chicken...
Crankiness · December 07, 2019
Growing up in the Bronx, I had many Non-Jewish friends, and I looked forward to go over to their apartments in December to see their Christmas Tree all decorated and lit up. Being Jewish, we didn't have Christmas Trees, and I got even more confused when my Non-Jewish friends would ask to come over to my place to see my Chanukah Bush. I did not have a Chanukah Bush. None of my other Jewish friends had a Chanukah Bush. I do understand that Moses spoke to G-d posing as a "burning bush" on our way...
Crankiness · July 21, 2019
It is that time of the year when families start taking off for their long awaited summer vacation. However, before you even consider all the things that could go wrong on a vacation, let's take a look at all the characters that typically have been cast in the lead roles of this CrankaTsuris drama. First, we have the kids. They are all excited that they get to embark on this great adventure. They can't wait to experience new things. For weeks, they have been day dreaming their best fantasies...
Crankiness · July 15, 2019
“Tsuris” is the Yiddish word for problems. Now, when I say "problems", I am not talking about a minor daily inconvenience. I am talking about a major life changing traumatic event that has brought on such suffering that has never been experienced by anyone since the beginning of time, and something you would never wish on your worst enemy. Consider the difference in the two statements made: "I have this problem." and..... "Oy!!!!! I have such tsuris!!!! Oy!!!!" While a problem is something...

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