Crankiness · May 30, 2020
This is the interview I had with David D. of Black Chateau Enterprises at the LA Bookfest on May 9th. I talked about CrankaTsuris, and my upcoming book "A Grownup Guide To Effective CrankaTsuris: The CrankaTsuris Method." Dave: Why did you decide to write this book? Steve: Two things happened at different times. Back in the Summer of 2017, I was with my partner at an apartment we rented in Rome, Italy. The power went out right when she was putting black color in her hair, which does not go well...
Crankiness · April 25, 2020
The book, "The Last Surviving Dinosaur: The TyrantoCrankaTsuris" answers two questions that have been puzzling generations of people for thousands of years. First, what is with this absolute obsession with dinosaurs that humans have with dinosaurs in the first place and second, why are humans the only species that actually come in to this world crying like a baby? Yes. I know. They are babies. But, let's take the first question. Why are humans so obsessed with dinosaurs in the first place? More...
Crankiness · March 29, 2020
We are now in week whatever with the stay at home orders and families are all stuck together twenty four hours a day in quarantine. So, this is what I like to compare our current situation to: Imagine that the family is going on a long vacation to Disney World, and they are all stuck together packed in the mini-van. At least, they are going on the vacation they were all looking forward to, and when the kids are cranking out "are we there yet?", the grown-ups in the car actually have some idea...
Empowerment · March 19, 2020
"Sir? Would you like to have a wake up call?" There is nobody who actually likes getting wake up calls. You would never say that you are sleeping in till Noon, and even though you probably will be awake, you then tell the hotel concierge: "Why don't you give me a ring sometime around dinner time? Or, maybe a bit earlier so I can catch a bit of happy hour. I always look forward to the wake up call because it is the best part of my day." "In fact, the only reason I am staying in your fabulous...
Crankiness · March 04, 2020
There are many sayings that we use everyday which we say without thinking, and these sayings make no real sense whatsoever. "Close, but no cigar!!" Why a cigar? What about a pack of cigarettes? Or what if I do not smoke, and I do not like cigars? Why can I just get whatever is behind Door Number 3? Or... "That is all she wrote." Well. Maybe she wrote more. How do we really know? And, are you saying that she did not write enough? Obviously, he did not write anything. I do not see you complaining...
Crankiness · March 02, 2020
Mr. Schlemiel wanted to retire in the country, and live on a chicken farm, but felt that he could never afford it. It was his life long dream. He vigilantly checked the Chicken Farm Real Estate Magazine, and the prices were always way above what Mr. Schlemiel could afford. But, one day, he was approached by Mr. Schmegeggi, who had heard about Mr. Schlemiel's dream to own a chicken farm, and he told Mr. Schlemiel that he had a chicken farm that was a tenth of the price of the average chicken...
Empowerment · March 01, 2020
In my first book, The Last Surviving Dinosaur: The TyrantoCrankaTsuris, our hero, the TyrantoCrankaTsuris got bullied by three mean bigger dinosaurs, and did not fare too well with an alligator. Ultimately, she used her own voice, and with the help of the TyrantoKvetchaTsuris, they both cranked and kvetched happily ever after. Back in those days, there was no computers, and no cyber-bullying. And, when I grew up, we didn't have computers either. But, we were bullied, and we did some bullying of...
Crankiness · December 07, 2019
Growing up in the Bronx, I had many Non-Jewish friends, and I looked forward to go over to their apartments in December to see their Christmas Tree all decorated and lit up. Being Jewish, we didn't have Christmas Trees, and I got even more confused when my Non-Jewish friends would ask to come over to my place to see my Chanukah Bush. I did not have a Chanukah Bush. None of my other Jewish friends had a Chanukah Bush. I do understand that Moses spoke to G-d posing as a "burning bush" on our way...
Empowerment · November 23, 2019
I spend much of my day answering the same question, both in person, and on the phone: "How is it going?" or "How are you doing?" or "What's going on?" or "How was your weekend?". And, the answers are typically the "non-answer". "Hanging in there!" "Almost Friday!" "My weekend was too short!! I noticed that when I gave the typical "sitting in neutral" response to the question, when I ask the same question in return, I get the exact same response. "Hanging in there too." And, then we part ways....
Lifestyle · November 10, 2019
Last week, I ran the NYC Marathon. I was going into the marathon with 12 consecutive sub-4 hour marathons under my belt, but unfortunately, age (58 years!) and other factors caught up with me, and I finished the marathon in 4 hours, 22 minutes, and 12 seconds. But, there is a story to tell. The signs were there the night before. People always talk about doing a great big pasta dinner the night before to carbo-load, but I always go to the same Chinese restaurant, and order their Gung-Ho special....

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