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Barking Up the Wrong Tree CrankaTsuris

Many years ago, when my daughter was growing up, we were lucky to have this amazing dog. His name was Albus Dumbledog. He must have come from another world because what made him so special was that he was a talking dog.

 

Yes. I owned a talking dog. We had some amazing conversations. I got to learn so much about dogs. He was also an amazing listener. I would come home from a bad day at work and tell him  about all of my problems. When I asked him if it was okay to tell him all my complaints of the day, he would look at me with those understanding eyes, and he would always tell me the same thing:

 

"You are barking up the right tree, man!"

 

Unfortunately, I was never able to return the favor in the exact same way.

 

I would take Albus for long walks and every so often, he would see a squirrel or a cat running up a tree. Albus became excited, and hurriedly, went up to the base of the tree, and started barking. No matter how long he barked, the squirrel or the cat at the top of the tree would not come down. The squirrel was particularly mean, tossing nuts down at poor Albus.

 

Finally, I had to say:

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree, dog."

 

Albus was a very smart dog, and after being told that he was barking up the wrong tree, he went home, and looked up on the internet exactly what type of tree had the best bark. Surely, he thought, if he figured out the type of tree that had the best bark, he then could be barking up the right tree.

 

After a few minutes of searching, Albus had his answer. It was the Oak tree. Albus became very excited. He heard that on the other side of town next to a pond stood a giant Oak tree. Finally, he thought, he could bark up the right tree.

 

I took Albus out for a walk the next day, and he made a special request. Albus never had made a special request before so I knew that this must be an important request.

 

"Papa. When you take me for a walk, can you take me by the giant Oak tree on the other side of town?"

 

"Why?" I asked. What is so bad about peeing on any other tree in our neighborhood or on a hydrant like you normally do?"

 

"Papa. I do not want to pee on the Oak tree. I just hear that the Oak tree has this special bark. I just want to see it."

 

The very next morning, I drove Albus to the park that featured this Oak tree. Sure enough, Albus noticed three squirrels ans two cats crawling up the Oak tree, and started to bark like crazy. No matter how much Albus barked, the squirrels and the cats would not come down.

 

Finally, I had to tell Albus:

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree, dog."

 

Albus turned to me defiantly and said:

 

"Papa, I have the right tree. This is the tree with the best bark. I will keep on barking because I know I have the right tree!"

 

Albus kept barking and would not stop. People came from all the ends of the park to watch Albus bark. One person asked me:

"Does he always bark like this?"

 

I replied; "Yes, but his bark is way worse than his bite."

 

The person who asked the question took one look at Albus' teeth.  He quickly noticed that they were the biggest fangs he ever witnessed on a dog. Terrified, and now knowing that Albus' bark is worse than his bite, he turned around and ran as fast he could in the opposite direction.

 

After a few hours of barking, Albus' voice began to get a bit hoarse, and his bark sounded more like a croak. The croak was so effective that hundreds of frogs from the pond nearby jumped out and surrounded Albus. With every croak from Albus, all the frogs danced around and formed a circle around Albus. Albus was delighted with his newly found frog fan club. The squirrels and the cats who had been hiding at the top of the Oak tree came down to join in the fun.

 

I told Albus, chuckling; "Isn't it interesting. You barked up the wrong tree, but you croaked down the right pond."

 

This incident reminded me of another story. Our next door neighbors were the Barker family; Woody and Maple Barker and their two kids, Birch and Willow. They were all the kindest and most generous neighbors on the block. If you needed any kind of help, you were sure that you can count on one of the Barkers to pitch in.

 

However, it was not always this way. In fact, they were the exact opposite. They were the meanest and stingiest people in town.

 

Apparently, the Barkers developed a severe case of Barking Up the Wrong Tree syndrome. If one family member made any request to another, the answer was always the same:

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree."

 

If any neighbor asked for help, the answer was always the same.

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree."

 

Anyone who would walk by the house would hear the same commotion going on. One family member after another could be heard shouting:

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree."

 

Because of all the barking that the Barkers were doing, all of the Barkers lost their voices. All of a sudden, the house went completely silent.

 

The Barkers were terrified that they had lost their primary way of communication. Immediately, the next day, they paid a visit to their primary physician.

 

The primary physician shook his head, and told them that there was nothing that he can do. He told them:

 

"You are barking up the wrong tree."

 

The primary physician did come up with a suggestion.

 

"I recommend that you go see this family therapist. Her name is Dr. Sylvia Burt. She is a Certified BURT therapist."

 

"What exactly is a BURT therapist?" Woody croaked.

 

"A BURT therapist specializes in teaching people how to bark up the right tree, and how to be the right tree to bark up to. She is the best there is."

 

The Barkers went straight to see Dr. Burt. They practiced for weeks learning how to bark up a right tree, and to be the right tree to bark up to. Once they mastered their new found barking abilities, all of the Barkers' voices returned.

 

None of the Barkers ever barked up the wrong tree again.

 

Of course, our CrankaTsuris is our way of barking. If we find that we are always barking up the wrong tree, the CrankaTsuris gets worse and worse. These simple stories teaches us the power we get when we finally can feel safe to bark up the right tree. This is the true essence of the CrankaTsuris Method.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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